OK, I can't type so that's what the tag for "Cha Cha Impromptu" reads. Here is one of those lovely albums where some subpar record label takes every leftover song they have, call the band "Guest Artists", and choose some half-assed theme ("Make your home a discotheque!) and see how many suckers bite. The leftovers include a fairly swinging jazzy combo/big band playing a few un-discotheque numbers, and some odd growly-voiced twist numbers. Something for everybody, or nobody.
Today's record has no sleeve and apparently is a boring looking record, so I had nothing to use as an illustration. It is one of my favorite types of records, a disc created by a corporation (in this case, Standard Oil) for use by its employees at annual meetings or pep talk rallies. The tune is called "I Love a Salesman", and as owner Evan describes it, is sung by a group of "blowsy-sounding chorines".
I thought I might find a suitable image by searching the words "chorine" or "blowsy", but Google thought I wanted to search for chlorine (thanks for being a know-it-all, G) and showed me pictures of beakers, and the only description I could locate for "blowsy" was for Carrie Fisher (no thanks). But finally someone in a blog described the chorus girls in the movie "Palmy Days" with Eddie Cantor as "chorines", and since I sort of relate blowsy with doughy, it seemed suitable enough.
So let's sing the praises of those fabulous corporate hucksters who can take our money whether we want them to or not. Hit it, chorines!
You know, I don't have a lot of fear as some do about being sent to live at a retirement home one day (probably one day next week, judging by the frequency of my memory lapses). I imagine sitting around the common areas with a lot of other similarly medicated oldsters, eating applesauce and listening to marginally talented but earnest musicians playing toe tappin' (if neuralgia allows) music like today's album by the Mom and Dads. Before I get called to my sponge bath by some beefy guy named Horst.
The Mom and Dads hailed from Spokane Washington and inexplicably recorded nine albums during the 1970s, which really seems like the least likely era for them to have recorded. I suspect many of their fans were Middle Americans who liked to keep the blinders on against the reality exploding around their blue-tinted hair--which is surely why I found four M and D albums in one Goodwill bin in a small town just south of Indianapolis.
They seem to favor tunes that have no bridge--or at least they seem to only play the recognizable part of the melody again and again. And again and again and again. Like a profoundly damaged individual thunking his head against the wall, because it's oddly comforting. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.
Anytime:
The photo of the Mom and Dads came from here.
Get the album here.
Well, it appears that I am the only person in the world interested in reviving the Canadian Ookpik "craze" of the 1960s. Frankly, since almost all references to the one-time mascot of Canada appear to be willfully expunged from the internet, I suspect a massive cover-up by the Canadian government. Maybe they thought an association of an owlish child's toy fashioned from clubbed baby seals with Canada was bad for business, go figure. But I alone have the courage to take on the entire Canadian government (put up yer dukes, eh?) to present the history of the Ookpik, along with its seldom heard song!
At any rate, if you didn't see the video I posted on PCL a while back that tells the (incredibly lifeless and dull) tale of how Canada chose its little mascot, then slam down a few Trucker's Little Helpers to keep you awake and hit "play".
Still with me?
Then I'm sure you're all fired up and ready to listen to the Ookpik song, by The Romeos!
and the A side Muskoka and You:
EDIT: I was right about a cover-up. I found this article from 1965 about the ookpik fiasco and why the Canadian government wants all mention of them wiped off the internet:
OTTAWA: Jack Shafter, vice-president of Regal Toy Co., today accused the Department of Northern Affairs of "wheeling and dealing" in making private arrangements for commercial production of Ookpik, the fuzzy, saucer-eyed version of the Arctic owl. Designed by an Eskimo woman in Fort Chimo, N.W.T., and made of sealskin, Ookpik was promoted by the Government at trade fairs. When orders out-stripped Eskimo production, Northern Affairs granted rights to the Reliable Toy Co. to manufacture Ookpiks of white plush synthetic fabric to sell at about $2.98. Another version, made of imported possum pelts, sells at around $7. Ookpik has been registered with the trademark division and unauthorized copies are illegal. Lawrence Samuels, vice-president of Reliable, said: "We've been told bluntly to keep our mouths shut about this thing. Any public relations or publicity will have to come from Northern Affairs."
Imported opossum pelts! The root of most world scandals.
Such a shame, I was hoping this album would be a teaching class with words of wisdom shouted at us by LUIGI himself--"PLIE! PORT de BRAS! DEVELOPPE! FRAPPACHINO!" so I could learn the Luigi method of Jazz Technique and begin my career as an interpretive dancer and make a lot of money and be famous. But sadly it's just some halfhearted jazzy music albeit with great titles such as "Kick Out On Tummy" and "Out-In, Out-Down". Which sounds as though it would be pole dancing music or at least something with more hip action than your standard jazz dance and frankly the drummer IS delivering an awful lot of boom-chica-boom.
LUIGI
I would tell you more about the career of Luigi except for the fact that this album sat in someone's wet basement for a few years and the cover has a lot of water damage and I think it says he was Mussolini's personal dance instructor in bowling alleys in Prague or perhaps that's just some mold on the cover, I'm not sure.
Much to my delight, someone actually heeded my request from the previous post to send me music so horrible I might not post it here. Alex from Seattle--nice try, but here is your entry "Sunday Mornings", about which the lyricist for the insipid The Men in My Little Girl's Life said "Oh now THAT'S going too far". Probably.
Prepare to taste last night's dinner.....how quickly time goes bye-bye. Sadly, in the case of this tune, not quickly enough. You too can achieve worldwide acclaim by sending me YOUR horrible music!
Once again I have been given someone's weird castoff records to share with the world.....Thank You! This gift is particularly valuable to me because 1) it is a "train your bird to speak" record that I love so well 2) the donor has his OWN blog in which he often shares marginally to very weird music (recent posts: the Milwaukee Brewers theme song from the 70s, the answer song to Big Bad John, and some obscure polka music). And he deemed this record too strange for even his blog to share! But of course he knew it would have a happy home HERE.
Here's the challenge....send me something that is so horrible I won't post it on my blog. The only limitations are that it not be able to get more than say 10,000 hits on YouTube (so don't send me that Friday song, OK?) and not be purposefully offensive.
In the meantime......I'm Your Precious Ba-by!
Disclaimer: Music is not posted with the intent of profit or to violate copyright. If you are the creator (or copyright owner) of a song, or anything else posted on this blog, please contact me if you want to comment on it or wish to have it removed.
