The Very Deep Blue Sea.

Oh Rod, Rod, Roddy McKuen, you honking huge school of fish swimming in a barrel, you and your seventies schlock New-Agey poetry leaves you SO open to ridicule.

"Home to the Sea" album is so jaw-droppingly awful I still have rug burns on my chin. It features the unapologetically maudlin Rod McKuen, teamed with the sometimes interesting (and sometimes McKuen-insipid) composer/arranger Anita Kerr. Rod’s claim to fame was penning poetry some found deep and meaningful, and others laughably pretentious. Did 70s guys REALLY get some action with the hippie chick wanna-bes by playing Rod McKuen’s painfully “relevant” albums? Impossible to fathom, even in those pre-AIDS, anything goes days.

Rod’s somnimbulistically soothing voice backed by crashing-wave sound effects could act as aural Ambien except for the fact that he occasionally drops these unwittingly pants-wetting hilarious lines that totally disrupt the snooze-inducing moment.

Let’s listen to the gloriously odd “Bathtub Surfing”, shall we? It's actually the cut I found the most entertaining. Listen to any of the rest of the tracks of "Home to the Sea" for the more comically bad stuff.





Home to the Sea - Warner Brothers WB 1764

Music by Anita Kerr/ Words by Rod McKuen

What a Timesaver!

Due to frequent trips to Goodwill stores across the Indianapolis area, I have a pretty huge backlog of records to digitize and was frankly thrilled to see that two other blogs had done two of the records I wasn't particularly excited about working on.

I need to remind myself that even if it's in the 3 for a dollar bin, I need to pass by honky-tonk player piano "goodtime" records. I loathe them and that's all there is to it. I downloaded from Lounge Legends and listened to part of one cut. Thanks for saving me the agony of having to listen to the rest!




Then we have this 1978 album from Fernendo Ubiergo. Again, thanks to Los que no se consiguen for saving me from having to listen to this entire horrible album, whose Casio keyboard stylings were particularly heimous.

So, I'm out about 83 cents for the two of these, but just think of the wear and tear on my delicate psyche I avoided thanks to these other blogs. Gracias to these blogs for saving me from my own bad judgment!

Staggered Entrances and Humming

They might not have had Prozac at the start of the 1960s, but they DID have the Honey Dreamers—-wholesome, chipper, ready to walk on the Sunny Side of the Street. To paraphrase Lenny Bruce, these people probably smiled when they defecated. I find the whole album simultaneously exhausting, and charmingly comical.

I think it was also a few years before the concept of “affirmations” came along, and each song title could scrawled on a post-it and placed on the fridge: “Wrap Your Troubles in Dreams”. “Feelin’ So Good Today”. “It’s a Good Day”. “The Best Things in Life Are Free”.

The Honey Dreamers appear here with with “the Aaron Richard’s orchestra” (sic)-- apparently Top’s Record’s only hired the BEST proofreader’s, what they MEANT to say was the Aaron Richards Orchestra. Did you hear my indignant sniff of derision when I wrote (sic)? Of course you did.

The quintet was a “two-girl and three-men vocal opposition” who appeared on all the big TV shows of the era—Ed Sullivan, Garry Moore, Steve Allen, and Dave Garroway. From the liner notes:

Even when singing a straight monochrome of melody, the voice blending is pretty and mellow. Also interwoven in the enchanting melodies are staggered entrances and humming.

And if the Honey Dreamers can’t make you smile with their lilting tunes they will probably come over and poke you one the shoulder over and over and over and tilt their heads coquettishly and make cute pouty faces until you fake a wan smile. Trust me, just paste a phony smile on your face and they should leave you alone shortly.

Really Living - Honey Dreamers with “the Aaron Richards Orchestra.

Kiss and Letkiss

Today's album, "Everybody Letkiss!" belongs to the only theme post I do on PCL Linkdump, The Galeria of Failed Dance Crazes. To sum up the lure of the Letkiss, it's a variation on the polka, except you are allowed a smooch every now and then. Which makes it a better choice for a wedding celebration than the heinous Chicken Dance. I'm not sure what the musical cue is for kiss-stealing, a blat from a tuba perhaps?




There was a lot of “...erm, haven’t I heard this cut already...?” to this album. My favorite cut was, uh, the one with the handclapping and tuba and merrily tootling flutes, you know which one I mean. It might have been the Gypsy Letkiss, or perhaps the Beatnik Letkiss. In any case, you will surely be seeking out a North Dakotan granny to teach you the intricate nuances of the letkiss-- all except for the smooching part, of course.

Everybody Letkiss! - Erik Altig and his Letkiss Band
Ascot Records AM 13023



Look! an Italian version of the Finnish Letkiss dance! You don't need the assistance of an elderly Dakotan after all!

Radio and TV's Favorite Auctioneer

Wheeeewww, I have done some really gawdawful album cover photography, but this one seals the deal, I am really BAD at this sometimes, and this is my most dogballishly horrible effort to date. My old camera dropped dead last week, and I am learning a new one, but STILL.




New topic! Leroy Van Dyke began his music career in the mid-fifties, but started out as a successful auctioneer first. As you might have guessed by his facility in the song entitled "Auctioneer". Which is apparently about an "Auctioneer".

Leroy is still around, still selling his music, which makes me think that THIS is the album that bring this blog down. Even though I'm telling everyone to buy s copy of this album on Leroy's website! It will be MUCH better condition that what you get here! Go see Leroy in concert and buy his sheet music! When this blog disappears overnight, we start all over at Bouffartique, remember?

Movin' Van Dyke

Kong Ling

I don't like to do this often, but wanted to post something before leaving for Chicago for a few days. There are a few songs taken from YouTube videos by Hong Kong pop singer Kong Ling--two similar versions of the calypso song "Let's Go Calypso" and some cha cha. Hope they inspire you to look for more of her music.

Kong Ling

Off topic, on topic - what’s the difference?

No, I don't really have this album today, (but this guy does) I just love the woman on the cover who aimed for sultry and ended up with surly.

Anyway, in the comments from the album posted below,there was some sharing of interesting but unrelated music--but since the topic of this entire blog is bad music, how can we be off topic unless someone starts talking about the Beatles or something? Anyway, if you're so inspired, post something in the comments here about something strange and obscure you've loved for years (preferably with a link to where we can all download). Or ask for some piece of weird music you can't find but are longing to own. Or join my Oddball Music Blogs facebook group and share there.

Straight Ahead

There is an entire blog dedicated to Phase 4 Stereo recordings, but this album did absolutely nothing for me. Zero.

Keating....Straight Ahead
London SP44072

Call of the Coyote and Scent of the Sage

I am Buffalo Bill and Billy the Kid. I am Wyatt Earp and King of the Cowboys. I ride my mustang over the plains in search of the bloody Sioux. And when I stroll in through the swinging doors of the saloon, they all back away from the bar for I am the fastest gun in the West. My six-shooter blazes from the hip with the flick of a wrist. I am the Outlaw...and I am the Sheriff.

--from the liner notes by Ray Martin

This album by British orchestra leader Ray Martin is chock full of Western cliché sound effects--the clip-clop of hooves, gunshots, coyote howls, and some incredibly un-PC Indian war whoops. The first cut, Wagon Wheels, has some sort of conestoga-action thing going on, and it took me a few moments before I figured out it was intentional and my tonearm wasn’t scraping the vinyl surface or something. Though for this entire album it might just be better to pretend we’re sitting real close to a very crackly campfire and that’s what’s causing all the noise on this album, not mega-scratchy vinyl. Isn’t pretending fun?

Boots & Saddle - Ray Martin Orchestra

Imperial Records LP 12020

Sweethearts of the Sixties

Today's 45 is from the self-proclaimed "Sweethearts of the Sixties", Dale and Grace.
It includes their massive hit "Stop and Think it Over" and their slightly less massive hit, "Bad Luck".

While Dale and Grace's music is timeless, sadly, their relationship was not. Usually I encourage you to go buy the featured artist's music, but today I link to Jimmy Dale Jordan's website so you can book Jimmy Dale for your next church revival or purchase one of his fine oil paintings. The Pope painting, created in "Schreveport" Louisiana is not for sale, but the clown is waiting for YOU!

Stop and Think it Over:



Bad Luck:

Doug Duke at the Organ

Not Doris, not David, not even Marma-, it's Doug Duke, who laid down some tracks with Lionel Hampton--and if he's good enough for Hamp, he's plenty good for YOU. This guy can squeeze every bit of the rock and rhythm out of his keyboards, and makes a SWINGing little kitschy delight in the process. HIGHLY RECOMMEND.

Doug Duke at the Organ

Pullet Surprise

I wanted to do a music mix about the chupacabra but was sadly unable to find enough tunes. ANY tunes about the chupacabra. REALLY? No cumbia music alerting us to the danger of the chupacabra??



So I settled for putting together the fowl play mix. Chickens. Turkeys. Roosters. No capons, tho. And no chupacabra.



Rooster Polka - Polka Powder Puffs Orch.
Rock No Galinheiro - Betinho & Seu Conjunto
The Egg or the Hen - Hot Lips Page
The Greasy Chicken - Andre Williams
The Chicken Yodel - Kerry Christensen
Turkey Mambo - Richard Hayman
Chicken Rhythm - Slim Gaillard
Chicken STuff - Hop Wilson
Rooster Chick - MArais & Miranda
Chicken Run - Alfredo Mandieta
Masculine Women Feminine Men - Savoy Havana Band
Turkey in the Straw - Ray Pfob
A Song to Feed Chickens By - Ramsey Kearney
Chicken Surf - Orchestre J. C. Pelletier
I'd Rather Be a Rooster - Scatman Crothers





Fowl Play



Here's another one! Los Teen Agers and La Gallinita Twist: